ADULTING: But is it really 101?

On my bus ride to school today, I couldn’t help but ask myself why I am adulting like I’ve done this before. Have I? I don’t remember having done this before. Living in a whole different country with no immediate family. Doing all the adult things like surviving all by myself? No, can’t be me. But it is me. So I thought why not tell y’all how adulting my adult life has been so far.

Last week, I suddenly remembered that I had to book a call with Lenovo to extend the warranty for my laptop because I cannot extend it myself on their website. This was precipitated by the fact that my laptop has been experiencing the Blue Screen of Death (BSOD) since I bought it in January this year. But then I also realized I needed to take it to a Lenovo service center to get the BSOD fixed while it is still in warranty in case Lenovo customer service doesn’t respond before my warranty expires. Why? A girl’s got to save money. Adulting 101! Always have to consider how much money I’m going to lose via my actions and inactions. But then I also Googled and asked GPT about the BSOD because why am I a Gen Z if I won’t leverage these things? And especially as a programmer? Yeah, see what I did there? Adding more responsibilities to my already full list because, adulting. So I found a Microsoft community with people facing the same issues with their windows 11 pro system. I got a response just this morning after posting about my issue so I’m using the suggestion to deal with the problem while I wait for a response from Lenovo. But did I also tell you I spent an inordinate amount of money on an external SSD yesterday? Paying felt like losing a part of myself, but I had to get it so that I could transfer all my data and save it before anything bad happens and I lose it all because of the BSOD. So yes, while trying to fix one problem, I became broke despite my attempts to save. When my mom used to complain about money I thought she was just not adulting well enough. Turns out no matter how well you adult, being broke is a prerequisite to adulting.

Away from my laptop issues that need urgent fixing, I also remembered I needed to text Emmanuel to book my flight for Panama this December. After weeks of working through the airline to book from and other intricacies, your adult sister almost forgot to book the actual flight. But thankfully I got that sorted out. Adulting, you solve one problem, another one arises and before you know it you are forgetting important details. Which also reminds me, I need to call the Panama embassy again because the last 5 times I called they were of no help, and they refused to answer the emails I’ve been sending them since august this year. For reference, I am writing this in November with still no response from them. Adulting, having other people create problems for you through their inefficiencies. Yay, what a fun experience: adulting. Talking about flights, I also needed to rebook my flight to Montenegro because my mid semester exams are too close to the date. So there goes another customer service call. I called and was told to open a ticket because if I made changes through the call center, I would incur more costs. Hear me out, I tried to do it via the app but got an error message and as an adult adulting, I am not about to lose more money. So I opened the ticket and called them back then got the flight ticket opened so I can travel at a more convenient time. So yeah, adulting as a student means arranging your adult life around school. Which reminds me, I need to submit my permission slip for my travel to Panama in December since I already missed school for a whole week to got to Doha, Qatar. Adulting, having one decision have 10,000 mini ripple effects that now need solving.

Talking about travel, tell me why out of trying to adult to hard, I forgot my travel card today. See, I usually keep the sneaky thing behind my phone because as an adult that makes much more sense. Funny enough, when I first started adulting, I used to laugh at people who kept their cards behind their phone cases because I found it cringe. As an adult who understands adulting now, I would like to thank whoever came up with the idea. Keeping it there has saved me so many times but yesterday while losing a part of me while paying for the SSD I took it out and forgot to put it back, so it is currently, I hope, resting in the pocket of my adult sweater. Adulting, forgetting important things because you were doing something important! Talking about forgetfulness, the adult me once forgot her entire wallet at school. Yho! I have never experienced a heart attack, but I think when realization dawned on me, that is how the beginning of heart attack must feel. You know when people say they had an out of body experience? I had an inner outer out of and in body experience. That wallet is literally my life. It has all the cards I need to survive this city. I mean, as an adult I have lost the card before, and I had to replace it which meant more money leaving my pockets. As an adult who understands adulting now, at least I hope I do, trust me, I don’t want to have to pay for it again considering I just paid in September to have it renewed anyway. Uugghhh adulting!

To add more to forgetfulness, as an adult student who is almost done with her undergraduate and in the spirit of adulting wants to study a master’s degree, I also now have to constantly remind myself to check application deadlines and write my statement of purpose and other essays. Now I don’t have free time anymore because I am either writing code, writing essays, reading for my classes at school or just wondering what else I have forgotten to do as an adult. Adulting; the act of constantly doubting your sanity because you are your own PA, and any mistake could ripple into several mini problems that take forever to solve.

MONEY! Money has been mentioned in every paragraph so far, but it honestly needs its own paragraph. WHY IS EVERYTHING SO EXPENSIVE? I went grocery shopping yesterday and by the time I finished scanning my items through the self-checkout, I had made the mental note that I was too broke and had spent too much money to take myself out for lunch. As someone who promised herself lunch outside before encountering the horrendous price of groceries, I spent the walk home convincing myself that I had enough food at home, and I didn’t need to eat outside. There I was walking telling myself, “hey look at it this way; an afternoon out for lunch costs about 500TL, the grocery you just bought which should last about two weeks also cost 500TL so if you think about it, you’ve actually saved money. Now instead of thinking of what to eat tomorrow after taking myself out today, I already have what to eat. I am a smart adult!”. Adulting; simultaneously being the adult while telling your inner child you have food at home. My mom was right, we indeed have food at home! Now I have to spend the rest of the month hoping I don’t have to spend my already finished money. Yho, adulting; the pits. The bottom of the pits.

Now that we’ve gone through some adulting problems, here are some tips I use to survive this life as an adult!

1. Keep a TO DO list:

• I cannot stress this enough. Having a TO DO list that is updated and crossed out daily will save your life a million times. Yes, you will forget but guess who won’t? Your TO DO list. Immediately you remember something, write it down. Trust me, don’t say I’ll write it later. Write it immediately! I cannot remember the number of times I said later and never did it then forgot completely and now had a million tiny problems to solve. Do better than me.

2. Give yourself grace:

• As I said earlier, none of has have adulted before. Trust me, even I haven’t, even though my existence sometimes feels like déjà vu. Nope, I have never adulted before. So yes, I give myself grace. I am kind to myself. Forgot something? It is ok. My brain is suffering as much as I am to survive this existence. Remember, every mistake as an adult is an opportunity to learn, grow and be a better adult! That is what is important. Go out, take yourself to dinner, lunch, brunch, buy yourself ice cream and be kind to yourself. Show yourself love.

3. Keep a journal:

• Sounds cliché but trust me, it helps you wind down and remember that you are human instead of being on auto pilot and behaving like a robot. Just try to write how you feel, what you think and what you want to do daily. If daily feels overwhelming, try every other day or winding down once a week. Just trying writing or if you enjoy talking, use an online journal that allows video and voice. Remember to let it all out and purge yourself. Talking about purging, don’t be afraid to cry. Sometimes, I put on Adele, sit outside, scream my lungs out and cry. I feel as light as a feather afterwards. Go out there and cry, then pick yourself up and try again. You are not tasked with carrying the world on your shoulder and no one is giving you scores based on how much pain you can keep within. Let it all out.

4. Keep friend groups and family that uplift you.

• This speaks for itself so all I’d say is don’t feel obliged to engage with people who don’t uplift you and bring you joy. Adulting is hard as it is without enemies pretending to be friends for you to now have them in close proximity to you. Let them go and keep the healthy ones.

Most importantly, with all that is said and done, I have done a test run of adulting, can I have my mom take over now? I no longer want to pay for the full service please!

Side eye to adulting!